Deadly is the Female at the BAFTAs 2011

One of our customers was lucky enough to be invited to the BAFTA TV awards and she chose to wear her Billion Dollar Baby dress from Deadly is the Female. Here is Mina's story...

Hi there Deadly Females!
What a night! Did I dream it or was I actually at the BAFTA t.v. awards ceremony on Sunday? Well the girl on the photo bears a striking resemblance to me so, yeah, I was there - dressed to kill in my smoking red Billion Dollar Baby dress Thank you God for providing me with the necessary tool to bag me a hottie - a killer dress!
I'm a t.v. scriptwriter and member of BAFTA so I'm fortunate enough to be allocated tickets for one  of the most  happening events of the year. This year was to be no exception - held at The Grosvenor House Hotel on Park Lane, London.  Dead posh, as we say in Liverpool.  If the loo paper is still hanging in the right place and not strewn all over the ladies' toilets,  then we're talking real class.
My dress was unbearably close fitting - skin tight, in other words, 'I daren't eat or breathe' tight and to keep the bulges at bay the obligatory spanx reinforcement underwear with extra butt padding was needed to give me that J-Lo full arse effect!  Without it, arse around my knees was not exactly a pulling credential!
Breathing was going to be difficult but hey that was the last of my worries!   My Spanx underwear was now virtually impossible to remove for calls of nature.  I had no other choice but to strategically cut a slit in the crotch area to enable the probable eventuality of needing the ladies - a must,  given to the alcoholic excesses of the evening.

The red carpet was crammed to the rafters with paparazzi desperate to not take my photo!  After all, who was I - an unknown, a disposable triple z lister with no scandal qualities, in other words, a non TOWIE!  Still it gave me the chance to star spot and an array of household names sauntered past, hesitating momentarily to sign autographs for their adoring fans.  Jim Broadbent, Trevor McDonald and Phillip Schofield, the cast of Downtown Abbey,  Coronation Street and Eastenders all paraded past, unaware that the lady in red was about to collapse at any moment due to lack of oxygen!
The champagne reception was held in a decadently decorated reception hall and as I descended the luxuriously carpeted stairs, flanked by security and waiters, the importance of the event started to dawn on me. The array of men in black were a pleasure to behold and I realised at that moment that God was indeed a woman and I thanked her for such a wonderful display of male beauty.   Black suits, white shirts, black ties adorned fit, muscular bodies and yet - they all eventually morphed into one, a swamp of varying shades of black, leaving us ladies to add a touch of colour and glamour to compensate for the guys' drabness!   Had I unintentionally gatecrashed a Reservoir Dogs convention perhaps?  Some of The Reservoir Dogs glanced me up and down, admiring glances because of my Billion Dollar Baby dress or had I already started to turn a mild shade of blue?   I wandered or dare I say wiggled around,  as by now, walking had also become an additional hazard.  Still, in my head, it looked sexy and that's all that mattered!!  I pretended  I was looking for someone, all the while keeping my radar fully tuned for any passing eye candy. 

Champagne reception over, we were herded into the main ballroom, where the tables were beautifully decorated and adorned lovingly.  So much cutlery.  So little time to learn what to do with it all!  Now for  the presentation of the BAFTAs.   I was seated on the balcony and unfortunately an enormous chandelier dominated our view.  Thankful for the chance to stand before my dress popped open, a la Judy Finnigan, I wiggled my way to the balcony where I had a first class view of the evening's proceedings.  Nominations were read and the 'unhappy' losers managed to force a semblance of a smile, while an enormous 10 inch lens was stuck firmly in their faces, desperate for a sob or a 'bastard - why did he get it'.  Instead, they clapped lethargically, successfully hiding their seething   jealousy at the 'deserving' winners.   I swore that if I was ever nominated for a BAFTA and didn't win, I would give the cameras exactly what they wanted - a hysterical melt-down of tears!
Obviously, The TOWIE (The Only Way is Essex) gang stole the show!  The Essex mob had won the  Utube audience award for best serial drama. They were understandably ecstatic and responded the Essex way. Amy Childs looked immaculate but sounded like a train crash tragedy, squeaking and squealing, adding the show's catch phrase, 'Oh Shut up!' to end the most eloquent speech of the evening.  Nelson Mandela eat your heart out!!!  Were the Industry audience applauding with embarrassment or genuinely pleased that top drama Downtown Abbey had been thwarted by non-actors playing themselves?   Were they laughing with them or at them?  The TOWIEs didn't care.  Non-actors they may be, but they were going home with their own BAFTA!
At last food!  I'd already devoured the BAFTA chocolate figure, the one that I was going to treasure for the rest of my days and I prayed to every God available for the speedy delivery of anything remotely edible!  Crab starter, chicken and a selection of desserts filled a gaping hole as the zip on my dress began to lose the will to function.
The after party was a huge hit and went on until the early hours!  The ballroom was big enough to cater for the many guests who, by now were all pissed!  Yet, they all still managed to look glamorous while us mere mortals had begun to slowly wither!  How on earth did they manage to do that?  Did they have a secret army of make-up artists hidden in the wings to reapply make-up and fix hair? Hmm, I wonder.
I danced the night away with a variety of celebs from Downtown Abbey and other hit shows that I hadn't heard of!  The highlight of my evening was meeting and chatting to the most gorgeous German actor on the planet!  Ladies, google him if you dare!  Ken Duken.  Not of the Dukan diet fame!  That's Dukan with an 'a' not with an 'e'!   But I'm sure The Duken diet I'm picturing would be a much more entertaining way of losing weight,  If you get my drift!!   He was sublime - made my evening, my week, my decade infact! But, as always, he was married! Never mind. Still, a girl can dream, can't she?
The event ended at 3.00 am and we stumbled out with the dregs. A few sad press guys still hung on desperately to see if any celebs were still there. At this point they weren't fussy - anyone would do!  I informed them that the event was now celebless, but all was not lost. As some small compensation for their disappointment, I would allow them to take my photo! Why they were laughing I don’t know, but good-humouredly, they obliged  this crazy inebriated Scouse lady! So for one brief moment, in my Billion Dollar Baby dress, I posed and pouted, living the fantasy that I too was a hot A lister!!
Can't wait for next year!!! Same again TOWIEs? You betcha!!

Mina Parisella

We'd like to say a huge thank you to Mina for sharing her adventures with us!

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Deadly doll's at the World Beard & Moustache Championships!

Our good friend Allie Astell got the chance to go to Norway to hang out at the World Beard and Moustache Championships. As you do.

Allie and her friend Laura went over to represent Captain Fawcett, purveyor of Captain Fawcett's Moustache wax. With their best Deadly outfit packed they mingled with some fantastic facial hair and some lovely people. 

Allie wore her red Doris Shirt with a Pin up Pencil Skirt in Cherries print and Laura wore a Heidi dress in Cherry print. They had a Red Train Case full of Captian Fawcett goodies. 

We had a chat with Allie to find out a little bit more about it all...

Hi Allie, tell us a little bit about the World Beard and Moustache Championships in Norway & how on earth you got involved?
It's a biennial competition in which men with beards and moustaches display lengthy, highly-styled facial hair. The first Championship took place in Germany, in 1990 and over the past few years competitors with the world's most hirsute faces from the UK, America, Germany and other countries convened for the championships in Brighton, Anchorage, Alaska, and last weekend the 2011 Championships were held in Trondheim, Norway.

Since launching the Captain Fawcett's moustache wax website in November 2010, I've been assisting the Captain with his social media marketing and PR, via my online marketing consultancy Manage My Website

The wax is handmade in deepest Norfolk and is available in 3 scents: lavender, ylang ylang and sandalwood. Legend has it that the Captain (an explorer) went missing in 1905 along with his secret moustache wax recipe. It has recently been discovered at a house clearance in Mytchett, Surrey, and is being lovingly recreated.

If anyone here has been keeping up with the Captain Fawcett's Journal , Facebook and Twitter pages they might know that he recently got himself into a bit of a scrape on an expedition to the Arctic and the poor soul is now recovering from scurvy at a sanatorium in Bognor Regis.

My good friend Laura and I were sent to Trondheim by the Captain, armed with plenty of Captain Fawcett's moustache wax , business cards and leaflets. I hope we did the Captain proud!

Did you meet any famous faces of the Beard & Moustache world?
Yes we met many of the competitors and winners. They were the loveliest people - obviously eccentric - and hilariously funny. I don't think Laura and I have laughed so much in a long time! There were parties in the local bars most evenings too, so we got a chance to mingle and peddle our handmade moustache wax to them. We both left Trondheim with a new appreciation for hot bearded men! 

You & Laura dressed up in some Deadly clothes to help sell Captain Fawcett's Moustache wax - do you think it helped get you noticed?
Absolutely! We wore our gorgeous Deadly outfits on the Saturday night (the Championship was the next day) and we received a lot of attention in them. I also had one of your fabulous train cases to keep our wax and business cards in. Even that received a lot of attention, with gallant gentlemen offering to carry it for me when it got too heavy. I can't recommend your clothes enough. They fit beautifully, hug all the right places and made us feel like a million dollars!
What are your plans now with the Captain?
We're busy finding new suppliers for his wax and it's already being stocked by The Chap magazine, Trumpers, Carter and Bond and AH Hale in Bath as well as being endorsed by the Handlebar Club and PAM London. Orders are increasing every day from around the world, so the Captain's being kept very busy despite his debilitating dose of scurvy!

We're also planning our next trip to the US Championships in October. I'm actually helping out with a Facebook campaign to persuade Tom Selleck to judge it. We’ve got big plans for Captain Fawcett's moustache wax so watch this space!

And finally, where can you buy the 'Gentleman's Stiffener'?

You can buy it if you go to his website and click on the "Buy" stamp. Do it now! ;}>

Here are some photos taken by Allie and Laura of some of the amaizing people they met.

Oh now we really want to go to the championships in America - it looks like they had a blast!

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The Artisan Market Is Back!

The 1st of May 2011 welcomed the return of St Catherine Hill's highly-anticipated Artisan Market, and it certainly didn't disappoint!  The weather was glorious and the people also: it never fails to amaze us, the support generated for what is now considered such a town treasure.

The day started for us when we opened our door at 10am, and was filled with the hustle and bustle that we love from the market till way past 2pm, when the market was supposed to finish.  There was an amazing turnout of local people and visitors from all over the country; we even had a lady who'd come all the way from Scotland in the shop at one point!


On such a hot spring day there was much interest in our beautiful tea dresses, especially the '40's Dress', modelled on the day buy the shop's stylish owner, Claudia.

The 'Rose dress' was a particular favourite too: even our resident poet Muriel Lavender couldn't resist trying it on!

Muriel was in high spirits that day.  "I love our Artisan Market - especially the first one of the year," she told us.  Delighting the visitors with her eloquent and audacious poems, not only at the Artisan Market, but also down at the brand new 'Frome Flea' market, held outside the library.  "I spent the whole morning flitting between the two," Muriel says.  "I even met some fans, which was exciting!"  And of course here at Deadly is the Female, we're one of her biggest! 

Recently Claudia teamed up with Frome TV to interview Muriel for 'Sex & the Picnic Forecast at Deadly is the Female' - a most popular feature which showcases Muriel's talent for words and sassy clothing.  This witty film can be seen on the Frome TV website.

The shop was buzzing with activity that day, helped along by the glamorous Muriel at the Artisan Market.  As she told us, "You can be sure I did right by the ladies - taking care to direct them all to the top of the hill, where they could treat themselves to something divine at Deadly is the Female.  Naturally I rounded off my morning there as well!  Understandably, of course: I simply had to buy the 'Satin Pumps in Pink', which I wore for our Frome TV interview.  I couldn't help myself!" To see the interview, and Muriel wearing the Satin Pumps in Pink, click here.

And they are definitely popular heels!  In five different colours, black, green, red, pink and leopard, there's a style for every occasion.  The Black and Pink ones went down especially well that day.

We're so excited about the return of the Artisan Market and the amazing turn out for the first one, that we can't wait for the next one on the 5th June.  So make sure you pop down and say hello!  We can't think of a better was to spend our Sunday - can you?

 Pictures by: Jade and Ed Thomas - Doubleshot and Frome TV

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A Night Of Burlesque, 23rd April 2011

On Saturday the 26rd of April, Deadly is the Female donned their feathers and flowers for a night at the fabulous Coco Boudoir at Chapel Arts in Bath.
As always, the night was full of fun and frivolity, hosted by the ever so regal and oh-so saucy Countess Arseuppi and headlined by the amazingly original and talented Diva Hollywood, whips n’all.

Other acts included the amazing voice and presence of Laura Mai (pictured above), the enchanting Domino Burlesk, the incredible Flaming Feathers (with a fantastically vigorous rendition of the screaming Cancan) and the two of the co-creators, the enigmatic Fifi Fatale and statuesque Geisha Go Disco, who gave a brand new meaning to the balloon dance!
The sold out show was jammed with an electric and buzzing crowd, who, clothing wise, definitely rose to the occasion. We just love seeing the fashions that people show off at Burlesque nights, and let’s face it, if you can’t show off at a Burlesque night, where can you?

 What was more exciting for us was seeing how many people were wearing clothes and accessories either from or stocked by Deadly is the Female, one of which, the ‘30’s Bombshell Dress’, actually reached the top 3 in the ‘Best Dressed’ competition. And it was great to see the effort that some of the ladies went to, lots of slinky 40’s and 50’s inspired dresses, like the ‘Madmen dress’, were flaunting curves all over the place! and of course, as it was such a lovely, hot day, there were some elegant, floral tea and circle dresses, like the beautiful ‘40’s Dress’ worn by the dazzling creator of Deadly is the Female, Claudia, and the enchanting ‘Peacock Skirt with black Chiffon Petticoat’. They all gave the night a lovely spring feel.

So top marks for the Ladies! Although… we did decide that the men should really put a bit more effort into their clothing next time! They can’t expect to be in a room filled with exquisite women dressing in slinky clothing and not make the effort! That being said, there were 1 or 2 that get gold stars from us with their quirky and debonair attire. So come on men, be a bit more dapper, it’s not that hard…a simple 3 piece suit and bow tie is perfectly acceptable and maybe even adding a pair of spats would make the outfit a bit nattier. And you can’t go wrong with a hat, be it top hat, bowler or trilby, just as long as you raise it for the ladies.

All in all it was a great night, filled with energy and laughter and we all left in high spirits, provoking a ‘Grease’ sing-a-long on the way home. If you haven’t been to Coco’s then where have you been?! It’s on bi-monthly, so there’s no excuse, show off the Deadly Female in you and get yourself down there!

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